I was recently at an event where someone just doesn’t like me. It was a large event and I had to be there. I had meditated before arriving and had released any ill will and went with a warm kind heart for them.  I had no problems greeting this person with a smile and a friendly hello. They did not speak to me, nodded and walked by. I could feel their negative energy towards me oozing from their pours, still, I smiled, and went on with my business at the event. After a while, as an act of love for them, I left because they clearly appeared uncomfortable and I did not want to intrude on their space.

Has this person been hurt by me? Probably and they hold onto it so tight because if they let go, they might not have something to hold onto. Here is the bottom line. We’ve all been hurt by another person at some time or another — we were treated badly, trust was broken, hearts were hurt. It is important to note, this pain is normal, sometimes that pain lingers for too long. I let go I forgave this person for what they did and placed love in the places of pain. No one or nothing is so important that we have to relive the pain over and over. But truth be told, how do we let go?

First I make a decision to let go. I am not going to do it in a second or maybe not even in a day. It can take time to get over something. So I commit to changing, because I recognize that the pain is hurting me!  Now once I decide and turn my anger, which is this case is fear and hurt, into love and light, I move onto the next step which is, how do I turn over something where someone is so angry at you into love and light? I need to realize I have a choice. I cannot control the actions of others but I do know I can control not only my actions, but my thoughts. I give myself the opportunity to stop revisiting the hurt they caused and I choose to move on. I have this power.

The other thing I do is I empathize with this person.  I try to understand why the person did what they did. I really do start from telling myself that the person isn’t a bad person rather they just said or did something wrong and chose to blame others. Why did they have an issue with a boundary? What could have happened to them in the past to make them so angry at a boundary? Once I do that, I try to focus on the present. Now that I took a moment to reflect on the past, I bring my focus back to the present moment, the here and now and I gently allow peace to enter my life.

As I focus on the present, I focus on my own breathing, I imagine each breath going out is the pain and the past or the pain they are trying to serve me and see it as being released from my body and mind. I then imagine each breath coming in is peace, entering me and filling me up. I cannot control someone hurt and anger, so I release the pain and the past and go forward, thinking no longer of the past, but of peace and the present.

Finally I allow myself to feel compassion. I forgive the person and realize that in forgiveness, I am allowing myself to be happy and move on. I feel empathy for the person and wish happiness on them. I allow myself to love and grow in my heart. It may take time. I took me several months and meditating daily. When I felt the anger that person had towards me, I was able to let go and free myself because anger eats up like a cancer and I want to be health in the mind, the body and the spirit.

Be sure in letting go, that your process feels complete. Even if you forgive, even if you fill that space with love, it does not mean that person will able able to reciprocate. That is okay. They are the ones that have to hold on tightly. Because our emotions affect our biology, make sure you let go completely filling yourself with the love and who you really are. Who knows, maybe they will get it.