Recently I was hosting a fundraiser. It was a wonderful cause and a great deal of work went into it. Someone who has been trying to bully me and harass me decided they had nothing better to do with their time and so they showed up for 3 hours just to try to intimidate me. In a way I felt sorry for them because they felt they needed to try to crash a fundraiser. They tried to use intimidation to make me feel nervous and not do well. The fact is, not only did I do well and raised a great deal of money, I did a nice job rising above this persons rude attempt to intimidate and had a wonderful evening.
The next day several people asked me how I felt about what had happened to this persons feeble attempt to sabotage the event and I said, “I was walking in my own power it did not phase me.” In fact I felt compassion and pity for this person. Most people were almost laughing at this person and thinking what a bad person they were.
They are not a bad person. Bullies who use intimidation more than likely have experienced a stressful or traumatic situation. In order to mask how they actually feel about themselves, some bullies focus on getting attention. This person got needs avoid any negative attention directed at them by deflecting. They deflect that by trying to intimidate others.They will try to convince others you are bad. It is difficult for them to come to terms that no one is bad. These kind of people need need support not criticism. By not criticizing them, you step into your power. I told o few colleagues who are psychiatrist’s or counselors and they said it is beyond sick, it is an obsession and all you can do is ignore people like that. I had no problem because ignoring it is stepping into your power.
Truth be told they could not intimidate me or make me feel the slightest bit uncomfortable because I was standing in my power and as hard as they tried I did not feel powerless by their attempt to make me feel uncomfortable. How do you step into your power? I love it when people ask me this question. I tell others to ask themselves, “Are you in your power?” Of course the next question I get is people ask how to step into your power, and that my friends, is what we are going to learn. Try to start by finding out where did you toss your power? You tossed it somewhere, so it would serve you a positive purpose to figure out where you tossed your power and why you feel powerless.
The first thing one needs to recognize as they try to find their power is are you taking responsibility? You see we tend to blame others for our own mishaps. Honestly all that is doing is giving your power away. Excuses. We all make them. One thing to remember is there is no power in blame. When I need to start taking my power back in my life, I had to look at my personal boundaries, and say what are my boundaries. So many people dislike it when I say use boundaries, however, truth be told, we need boundaries. We tend to give our power away when we have low self-esteem and feel unable to do anything about the situation. That is more than likely not true. We ALL have more power than we think. Stepping in your power is a choice. Making boundaries is a process that helps you with these choices.
So back to the original question, how come this person who is trying to intimidate me did not affect me? The answer is so simple, I own me. Owning your personal power gives you power because it is about recognizing that nothing can actually control or influence you unless you want it to. I highly doubt that you want it to. I looked at that person who was making every attempt to let me know they were at that fundraiser to ignore me. They never clapped, they talked through the entire thing and one person said it was difficult getting away from the table. A typical gas lighter holding people hostage. I was so proud that I was able to hold my head high and have a smile on my face and in my heart. Indeed, I refused to allow this person to take my power and walked right into my power. They tried to take it, but it was not theirs to take.
f you lost your power one would ask how do you get your power back? Ask yourself this one question, are you steering your vehicle of life or are you sitting in the back seat? If you answer you are being a backseat driver may I suggest that you get in the driver’s seat? Take your control back. Stop letting those who try to control or intimidate you take your power from you. Recognize that if someone is critical towards you,there is only one thing to do, ignore them. In fact attempt to put distance between you. If you are critical to your own self, then think about how to be kind and loving to yourself, it is the best way to take control over your power. It puts you in the drivers seat!
I am unsure if I can put enough distance towards this person because they spend a great deal of time planning and executing how to take power away, however I can allow myself not to let them intimidate me because people like that do not love themselves and I have a powerful weapon, I love me. It is not a magic formula, it’s simply the best way to take your power back. Do not to give your power away. It is your power! Try to ignore those trying to take your power. Smile at them, Offer them a warm smile and positive energy, chances are they won’t be able to understand it, but offer it. When you respond positively you are in your own power. When you simply ignore and walk away, yep you are in your power.
Do not put a lot into other people’s opinions, everybody has one and that is all they are, opinions. Your opinion counts too! Next set boundaries. Decide what you do and don’t want and stick to that choice. Start working on your own self-confidence that is a sure fire way to get your power and control back. Believe in you. Oh how power suckers hate that. Do not give those power suckers your energy by not taking much time thinking or talking about them. They are draining your power when you hold grudges, talk about them or offer them any attention. I always say pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. In fact that is one of my mantras.
Did you know you have a deep well of wisdom within you? You do so try to tap into it and use it. Pay attention to how much you rely on others opinions. Stop looking at an outside force to power you up! Trust yourself. It is a great way to begin walking in your own power because your opinion is all that matters. Your opinion, your choice that is all that matters. You are the authority of your own life. Recognize that authority through self-love and you are on your way to being charged by your own power source.